By Shana Davies on 8/29/2012 9:49 AM

What is the definition of “older?” If you are a woman, it can mean past the age of recommended child-bearing. If you are a man, you may feel it is the strike of the “mid-life crisis.” In the U.S., baby boomers are considered “old.” So, at what age is old? It may be that it is an event of the mind, body or both. Mark Twain said, “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” Or, you can look at it like George Burns did: “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get (be) old.” 

If you have found yourself at this place in life and that you are single for whatever the reason, you may be struggling with how to get back into the dating scene, but have a 20-year old memory of how it was then. Fast forward the flashback into the present and soak up some simple and very important tips for sliding into dating today with ease using the following tips:



“Do what you love and the love will come.” I read this quote in an article by Mike Harden (2004) and immediately...

By Shana Davies on 8/22/2012 1:46 PM

“Trying to prove how good we are, trying to prove we’re good enough, trying to show someone how much he or she has hurt us, trying to show someone we’re understanding, are warning signs that we may be into self-defeating behaviors.”  ~Melody Beattie 

At Master Matchmakers we know that anyone who is searching for “the one” has entered the “self-defeating” behavior zone so we designed our coaching program to emphasize self-care.  Self-care is about congruency.  It is the practice of aligning your thoughts, feelings, words and actions with your values and goals.

Practicing self-care is so powerful because the relationship you have with yourself is the foundation for every other relationship in your life.  If you are having trouble “finding, dating and keeping the one”, then I encourage you to consider where you may be out of alignment.

As you go throughout your day, start by shifting the focus from “them” to “you”.  Take responsibility.  Your personal power depends on it.  Own your thoughts, your feelings, what you say and the actions you take.  Once you own it, you can change it.

...

By Steven Ward on Thursday, August 16, 2012

Is it? I’ve been inspired to write this by some things I happened across on the graph. “The graph” is the new vernacular for the more anachronistic term “online”. I couldn’t help but chime in. One of these things was a seemingly innocuous Facebook status update from a high school friend of mine directed toward his wife, and the other, a rigorous Twitter debate over polyamory, a word unrecognized by Webster’s thesaurus, but defined as “the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time.” I woke up one morning ready to start my day. I already caught up on email while travelling from my bed, to my bathroom, to my kitchen with my phone in tow and sat down at my computer with a coffee in hand ready to do what I always do first thing in the morning, open my web browser and check my social networks. As I read my Facebook newsfeed I came across a status update from an old friend of mine to his wife, “Cant wait to see you tonight for a couple of hours before you leave your boys again :(“....

By Shana Davies on 8/14/2012 12:13 PM

Clients reach out to us because they need help in their love life.  They take the step, make the call, and get ready to get started and…

·         Their ex (that is an ex for a reason) comes back into the picture

·         They experience a health concern or financial setback that requires immediate attention

·         Their schedule becomes unusually busy (with other people's business)

No matter what that something is, it has the potential to stop our potential client from moving forward.  This is the nature of sabotage.

Consciously you know you want a healthy and happy relationship, but unconsciously you probably have some negative beliefs about relationships:

Maybe you’ve been hurt, betrayed or rejected or seen too many people in unhealthy or unhappy relationships  Maybe you’ve experienced tremendous loss and do not want to go through the pain again Maybe you have grown comfortable with your life as it is and fear it will change While we don’t know...

By Shana Davies on 8/6/2012 9:56 AM

It’s been said a thousand times, trumpeted from every advice column and TV show. Yet I still find clients wondering why their partners don’t change. Somehow they believe the magic of a romantic relationship will free their boy/girlfriend from destructive behavior.

It won’t. If anything, by remaining in a relationship with someone who displays inappropriate behavior you only encourage them to continue.

The behavior doesn’t even have to be inappropriate. A recent client complained to me about her boyfriend who is terrible at planning. She never knows if/when they will see each other. This activates her abandonment issues from her childhood. She tried again and again to explain her abandonment issues to her boyfriend and asked him again and again to be more considerate of her feelings and be more planful.

Ideally, this man would learn to plan like most adults with busy lives and make conscious room in his life for the woman he professes love for. But he’s not going to change because of her abandonment...

By Steven Ward on Sunday, August 05, 2012

I have been talking about this phenomenon with my clients for years. I've mentioned it on Vh1's Tough Love and I've said it in countless interviews and lectures. Men and women today who are still seeking a conventional, committed, cohabited, monogamous relationship are no longer competing against one another for the undivided attention of a mate. They are directly competing with a lifestyle choice that sociologist and author Eric Klinenberg describes as "solo dwelling", the preference to living alone versus living with family, roommates or a partner. 



Once again, its a direct result of the rapid infusion of information technology metastasizing its way through the fabric of our lives. Living alone doesn't mean being alone. Social networks, online dating, gaming and other community based internet activities are filling the void that was once only habitable by the physical presence of others. Now communication...