Over the last decade as a love and relationship professional I’ve enjoyed seeing the stigma of online dating and matchmaking gradually go away. Still, there is this ‘stop-and-ask-directions’ effect I often encounter when meeting eligible men and women who can’t seem to 'meet their match', or 'find their way' so to speak. All too often I hear singles say, "Oh, I have no problem meeting people, I just can't seem to meet the right people. To me that’s like saying, “I diet and exercise, I just can’t seem to lose weight.” The way I see it, matchmaking and dating services are no different than weight loss counseling and fitness facilities. If you get with the program, hire the right people, and do the work…you’ll get results! (That is of course unless you’re genetically, or otherwise predisposed to being that way.)

Think about dieting and exercising for just a minute. Anyone with half a brain realizes that if you’re constantly consuming sugars, starches, dairy and fat - processed products and other crap, you are more than likely to get fat, clog your arteries and increase your risk of heart disease and diabetes especially if you aren’t working your ass off day in and day out to maintain your health. We know this, yet more than a third of our country is morbidly obese. Surprisingly or not, most of them are content that way. If you’re dating liars, losers, and unstable, noncommittal, inappropriate people you’re only likely to be cheated on, lied to or otherwise disappointed, especially if you aren’t working your ass off day in and day out to maintain your relationship. We know this, yet more than a third of our country is perpetually single. Surprisingly or not, most of them are content that way. I’m sure there’s a positive correlation there, but physically unhealthy is to physically healthy, like single is to not single if you don’t want to be unhealthy and you don’t want to be single. It’s amazing how our genetics and learned behavior can affect our predisposition, attitudes and actions in these regards. If you don’t want to be single, like you don’t want to be unhealthy, its time to get to work, get with the program and get the right people on board to support you.

Learning how to diet, exercise and be physically fit is no different than learning how to date, develop and maintain healthy, happy relationships. You want to avoid eating this and doing that. This would be good for you. That won’t. You might enjoy that, but when you find out what’s inside, you’ll realize it won’t be worth the work. Trying a new diet is like trying a new avenue to meeting people and it could be great, or it may not be right for you. Odds are though, if you worked with a professional who knew what they were doing, they could probably save you a lot of trouble and get you doing what works for you. Once you met your match and found the right diet or date, you still have to put in the effort, exercise and discipline it takes to reach your fitness and relationship goals.

My attitude is, if you have the opportunity to get a professional point of view, it’s always worth "stopping and asking for directions." You may save yourself a lot of time, trouble and tribulation along the way. Even if you think you know it all when it comes to fitness or finding, forming, and forging relationship, personal trainers and relationship coaches can still be useful to absolutely anyone in this regard. Hopefully it won’t take more than just a few sessions to find your routine and form the relationship that works for you.