By Erika Kim
Everybody wants it.
It’s one of the fundamental cravings of all mankind.
We relentlessly seek it…
hope for it…
beg for it…
and sometimes we even fake it.
Every moment spent without it makes it seem that much more important to have.
It’s love: Beautiful, wondrous, soul soothing love.
Many struggle to find it while others struggle to keep it. When it fails, we are left with a bruise of confusion and the painful question of, “what is wrong with me?”
When we observe the reasons for unsuccessful love and the struggle to find it in the first place, the answer actually lies within us. Funny enough, “what is wrong with me?” is the exact question we need to answer.
Stay with me, on this.
New relationships send spirits soaring along pink clouds of bliss. We feel we have found the solution to a feeling of emptiness. We feel relieved to no longer have to distract ourselves with stresses of work and to-dos or spend hours sunken into the couch, numbed by chocolate, wine, and ice cream.
As the novelty of new love wears off and feet once again touch ground, old habits inevitably return- the stress, sadness, comfort foods, and numbing. The void remerges as it was only hiding beneath a superficial bandage. The love is eventually lost.
After the mourning of lost love passes, we continue on to find the next person that we hope has what the last was lacking. We strap ourselves in to the same rollercoaster and ride over and over again in an insane cycle…
It’s time for a different route.
Too often, so much effort is invested in searching for love from others that we tend to forget that the greatest, most important relationship that we must cultivate first is the one we have with ourselves. If we do not show our own bodies and minds respect, not only are we in a difficult position to expect it from others, but the perceived solutions we do find will only be temporary.
As long as we continue to neglect our wellness, the external search for love is futile. Once we learn to honor our personal needs with proper exercise, nutrient dense foods, stress management, and overall positive habits, our bodies and minds will follow suit, radiating health and vitality.
When we feel strong, confident and happy, we attract people and situations that are of the same caliber. It is in this state that any love that is found serves to compliment and enrich, rather than momentarily relieve the root cause of pain.
Hollywood may have led us to believe that we can be completed by a great love; the truth is, feeling complete, ourselves, is a much healthier and stable ground from which to build greatness upon.
As a board certified health coach and personal trainer, I promote wellness through simple, enjoyable shifts in lifestyle and habits. To learn more about what I do, visit my website and blog at erikakimwellness.com.
I joined the prestigious team at Master Matchmakers as a health and wellness coach in order to support clients in becoming their most confident, healthy, strong, and vibrant self. Together, we prepare rich foundations from which successful loving relationships can thrive, by first giving love to the most important relationship of all.