As I was going through my Facebook newsfeed one morning I came across a status update from an old friend of mine to his wife, “Cant wait to see you tonight for a couple of hours before you leave your boys again :(“. Certainly a cute note to send your wife (privately), but I instantly couldn’t help but feel like a guest in their home who overheard their morning bed talk. I felt like I had eavesdropped. But I didn’t. I realized he chose to broadcast this to all their friends, family, exes, coworkers, competitors, clients and any other subscriber of theirs to see. Although it may seem harmless, over time, broadcasting your affection for your partner may naturally and unnecessarily corrode the very foundation of your relationship: its intimacy.

True intimacy is sharing your most secret personal knowledge and affections with one person above all others. In my opinion without privacy you cannot experience intimacy in the deepest sense of the word. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. To achieve a healthy, happy, long-lasting relationship I absolutely believe you must exclusively share your body, secrets, desires, fantasies, affections, dreams and other sacred knowledge with one person. This is what makes someone the closest person in your life. It should be this way. It must be this way. There’s nothing wrong with spicing things up but when inviting others into your relationship (physically or emotionally) becomes normal, you’re only inviting trouble.

What’s the point? As the world around us is changing more and more every day, a lot of us would still like to find, form and maintain a “traditional” relationship built on “traditional values”. I 100% support the traditions of monogamy, commitment, marriage, etc., but we must consciously evolve our way of thinking to preserve these traditions and we must accelerate this process or we will be surpassed by the world around us even faster than we can imagine. Although intelligent and strong willed people can construct boundaries in any relationship I feel it is ingrained in our human nature to elevate one lover above all others as the ultimate sign of respect. The shifting sands of social convention will continue to challenge those seeking a fully faithful, intimate, monogamous relationship.