A little while ago, the Harvard Business Review published an article on the advantages of having a conscientious spouse. According to the article, a recent study shows that a partner with a diligent and devoted mindset can work wonders for your career.
As an expert on love and relationships and a professional matchmaker with years of experience, I was of course intrigued by this new information. The topic was right down my alley and I found myself agreeing with a lot of what was said. After all, this article did not just make empty claims.
The longitudinal study referenced in the piece, conducted by researchers from Washington University, linked partner conscientiousness to occupational success. Out of five different personality traits, it's how conscientious their partner is that predicts an employee's professional self-fulfillment, income, and promotions. Indeed, this study also provides an explanation for this phenomenon - conscientious spouses enable professional success through their pragmatic behavior. They tend to get household tasks done and promote a happy home life. Consequently, this allows their partners to focus more on their work - with visible results.
Fair enough - so far, this seemed plausible to me. I've been in business for a long time, and these findings were - whilst very interesting - nothing new. The right relationship can increase your productivity and your probability to succeed at work. When your partner frees up your mind, it gives you space to focus on work and aim for that raise or finish that project.
A great relationship with a responsible and understanding partner has the potential to improve every aspect of your life. I've seen people blossom once they start a new, healthy relationship. Let me tell you - there is nothing more affirming than that if you're spending your days trying to help people find love like I do.
But while I am absolutely in favor of a solid and fulfilling relationship (with a conscientious partner, if that's what you're into), I am vehemently against the idea that any kind of relationship might help you fix your life. I hate to break it to you, but most relationships won't lead to great success and instant glory. This holds especially true if your relationship feels kind of below average in the first place. My clients often tell me that they would rather be alone than wish they were alone, and I couldn't agree more.
It's not being alone that hurts your chances of success. The one thing that is guaranteed to keep you from living a healthy, fulfilled, and successful life is being in the wrong kind of relationship. There is nothing more debilitating to success - I've seen it myself, and more than just once. In fact, it's probably a miracle I'm not a relationship cynic yet.
Admittedly, the Harvard Business Review article does hint at this briefly. It mentions that you can still be successful, even if you're not in a relationship. In fact, being single has been linked to more aggressive investment strategies, an attitude that can pay off in the business world.