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Exercise your dating muscles!

Monday, September 10, 2012


If it’s been a while since you’ve been on a date then your dating muscles might be atrophying. Your flirting skills might be rusty. Your conversation might be a little dull. Like any skill that has sat dormant the ability to date effectively needs a little stretching and flexing before getting back up to full speed.

Remember not to overdo it the first time you start dating. Keep your first dates short and light--coffee or drinks. Plan for only forty-five minutes to an hour. Don’t go for a marathon date at a five star restaurant with a four course meal that will take three hours. That kind of date puts too much pressure on strangers. Few people can carry conversation for that long, especially people who don’t know each other well.

Practice flirting in low risk situations. If you haven’t been flirty in over a year, you might feel awkward at first holding her gaze or lightly touching his arm. Practice verbally flirting with the girl at the gym, or the guy you see at the coffee shop in the morning. If it fails then no loss, you don’t even know them.

Go into a date armed with your best stories. Anecdotes that display your interests and accomplishments, but that have a bit of humor. No one likes a braggart. Self-depreciating humor shows people that you have the confidence to laugh at yourself.

Don’t expect to bench press your body weight after sitting on the couch watching the Olympics. Ease into dating, and don’t expect to meet the love of your life the first week back. Date a lot. You’ll have the stamina to go on many first dates if you keep the dates short and simple. Going on ten first dates that only last an hour each is much easier than going on 2 first dates that each last a painful 3 hours. Even second and third dates should be short, and feature a distraction (mini golf or bowling.)

Have the long game in mind. You’ll end up in a happier more fulfilling relationship if you take the time and do it right. Otherwise, you could end up pulling a muscle.

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Joann Ward has over 30 years of experience in the dating service industry. Along with her son, CEO Steve Ward they became internationally known as the Hosts and Executive Producers of VH1 Tough Love

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