Why is Dating in DC so Difficult?

Monday, April 06, 2015

Why is Dating in DC so Difficult?

Washington Post scribe Craig Shattner recently penned an opinion piece asking his readers if they feel DC is the reason why he is having such difficulty dating. Location may be an easy scapegoat for explaining why a young, attractive, educated, gainfully employed, relationship oriented man in the middle of nowhere may be single. But if a man like that lives in a major metropolitan market such as DC, and he hasn’t met his match, its not only probably because of him, it’s very likely because of him. Without going into reasons why attractive, educated, successful, marriage minded women significantly outnumber their male counterparts, let’s suffice it to say this is an unintended consequence of feminism. I call these single men and women, Eligibles. And there is no shortage of eligible women in DC.

Since the area in and around DC known as “The Beltway”, is as progressive as it gets when it comes to social values, there are an enormous number of Eligibles per capita here. Hyper focused on career and education, location is just another perpetual platitude for why an Eligible is still single. Whether they like to admit it or not, these industrious men and women are capitalists through and through. They invest their time, (by far and away their most precious commodities) into labor intense activities that produce the greatest results. They find more of a yield from studying, working, networking and other activities that produce satisfaction and results than they do from dating.

Thanks to the instant gratification we get from Google, Netflix, Uber and more, we now have come to expect this instant gratification from each other. New forms of anxiety have been classified due to this such as Typing Awareness Anxiety (the anxiety one experiences when they notice a message has been read, a reply has been typed, but a response has not been sent). The On Demand Economy has made it increasingly more difficult to accept the once natural rate of courtship. What was once an acceptable amount of time spent in bumper to bumper traffic on 495 travelling to date now seems more laborious than ever as our patience in matters of the heart has worn thin.

Despite topography, ambition and the often polarizing political views that make dating difficult in DC, there are an enormous number of Eligibles still single mostly due to the indigestible delayed gratification it takes to find, form and maintain a relationship today. In short, we’re inpatient and easily distracted and relationships today are much more a factor of convenience over chemistry or compatibility.

I think Craig is simply expecting to find his romantic unicorn right under his nose and doesn’t have the patience, penchant or wherewithal to work at meeting the right person.  

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Joann Ward has over 30 years of experience in the dating service industry. Along with her son, CEO Steve Ward they became internationally known as the Hosts and Executive Producers of VH1 Tough Love

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